Elderly Parent Refuses Assisted Living

Elderly Parent Refuses Assisted Living: What Can You Do?

When you realize your elderly parent is not keeping up with life, it’s probably time to consider alternative care for their senior years. Perhaps they have become more forgetful than normal, skipping meals, or forgetting to take a shower, no matter the reason they may no longer be able to live alone. When you mention the idea of moving into an assisted care facility, your parent balks at the idea.

Additionally, you can not force help on your competent elderly parents, and they have the right to refuse assistance. However, when it is evident that your parent requires assistance, it is better to handle it immediately rather than wait until a serious health catastrophe occurs. Find out how to convince your parents and the steps you can take to ensure their care.

What should you do if an elderly parent refuses needed care?

Before making a decision, consider your parent’s living conditions, activities, and mental health. Assessing your parent’s life helps you prioritize your problems. Focus on your parents’ beliefs, not their limits, when encouraging a lifestyle change. 

Remind them that a little help will allow them to continue doing what they love if they value independence. Additionally, remind your parent that caregivers will provide company, not constraints, and will promote independence. Tell them seeking help shows strength, not weakness. 

Your parents have put your needs before their own virtually every time. Many parents do not like being a burden on their children, so acknowledging your needs may urge them to help. If your parents do not help, you may need to involve professionals such as their doctor, religious figure, or social worker.

Providing care options provides your parents with choices and makes them feel valued. Each solution must address your loved one’s needs and therefore set boundaries. Start with the possibilities available to get them thinking about the next step, then shop around. Changing their lifestyle can bring them distress and suffering. Gradually extending support respects their freedom.

Can elderly be forced into care?

Talking to an older relative about a care home is tricky. An elderly relative may disagree with your timing, even if you are sure. You will need an attorney and the court to get your loved one care if they refuse. However, this method is time- and cost-intensive.

If a senior is competent, they can choose how and where to live, even if it puts them in danger of harm, disease, or death. Get your parent’s consent for power of attorney or guardianship before they become irrational. Individuals may choose who will care for them when they cannot care for themselves by planning ahead.

What are the main reasons elderly parents refuse assisted living?

Your parents grew up at a different age when life was different for seniors with a stigma as old folks’ homes damaged lives and were miserable. Your loved one may fear assisted living and nursing facilities because of childhood stigma. Seniors fear losing independence, and they may be unwilling to leave behind a pet. Finances could be a problem as not everyone thinks they can afford assisted living; they may be worried about the cost as they do not want to be a burden.

How do you deal with a stubborn elderly mother or father that refuses assisted living?

You can combat stubbornness by describing how the assisted living facility will not obstruct your parent’s way of life. It is critical to be open and honest about the reasons for the relocation. By having prior discussions and planning, try to avoid making this topic a complete surprise. This may not always be doable for you and your loved one if the move is required rapidly, owing to significant health changes and decline that sometimes occur after a hospitalization. 

Catching your father off guard with a hasty move that they were not involved in planning will lead to resentment and stubborn refusal. Always try to treat the senior like an adult rather than a child. When interacting with a senior, honesty is usually suggested unless there are comprehension or cognitive issues.

Additionally, personal reasons may cause a parent to refuse assisted living. For example, they may not like the head doctor, the exterior, or the wall paint. Your parent may not know why they dislike an area. Respect your loved one’s views if you suspect the issue is with the facility. Offer brochures to read and listen to their concerns while making them an active part of the decision. 

How to Convince a Parent to Go to Assisted Living

Do not focus on the concerns about leaving home but on the benefits if you want to encourage your parents to consider assisted living. As people age, they do not have the energy for everything, which is a major plus for assisted living. Ask your parents if they would like to enjoy their retirement and allow others to take care of the stuff they should not have to do anymore. Many seniors relish the idea of giving up laundry, cooking, housework, and running errands. 

Try to convince them they have spent their lives waiting for someone to wait on them hand and foot! All adults dream of a time when they can afford someone else to take care of the day-to-day details of life, and seniors are no different. Tell your mother she has earned the right to relax and spend time doing the things she loves and not using all of her energy on daily mundane chores. 

Explain the benefits of not having to care for their home anymore. A home requires maintenance, cleaning, repairs, taxes, and so much more, draining your parents’ time on hobbies and with people. Also, tell them they do not need to worry about the financial burden as you and your siblings will take care of the costs or that it’s already covered because of their smart planning or investments. 

Consider talking to some of your parent’s friends who have made the switch to assisted living to talk to them about the joys of an easier life filled with similarly aged people. Last of all, make sure they know they will still have their own space for alone time and rest. Have other family members help you convince them it’s the best option. 

Can Social Services put my mother in a home?

No one can compel an elderly person into an assisted living facility unless they meet specific criteria. If your father cannot care for themselves, does not have health care, does not have family nearby, or have dementia, a social worker may be able to help argue the case. However, social workers can not help until they see an elderly person suffering without nursing care.

Social services can help you decide if assisted living is the right option for your parents. However, the agent must also fulfill the loved one’s wishes for critical medical care. Additionally, the agent can only make medical decisions based on the senior’s finances. If the elderly can not afford assisted living, they cannot send them to a facility. 

How to Choose the Right Assisted Living Facility for Your Elderly Parent

After talking with seniors about the transition, here are some things to think about when selecting the ideal home for your senior loved one. The first step is to evaluate the senior’s current residence and talk with them about what they like. Next, identify any safety hazards that need to be addressed in a new residence. 

In addition, consider the layout of the senior’s new residence. In most circumstances, elders should live in a home with only one level and a few steps. Consider the safety equipment that will be required in the new building. In the event of a fall or an emergency, safety monitoring devices should be installed to alert outside parties.

How do you help a loved one transition to assisted living when they don’t want to move?

Discussing a loved one’s quality of life is not always easy. First, you must ensure their safety and health, which you can do with dialogue. You do not want your loved ones to feel left out of chats about their lives. Discuss the various benefits of assisted living with them. When talking, listen carefully to their worries and concerns. 

Assisted living is permanent. If you do not choose the correct place, you cannot just move your loved one to the next one. Do your research early on to ensure the community is a good fit. Note the cleanliness and friendliness of employees and whether residents seem happy.

Next, make a list of items that will fit in their new home and make it seem like home while determining what to keep. Nothing must be done immediately. It is a transition. Start with the essentials for their new house; the rest can wait. 

Assisted living residents can sometimes feel abandoned. Create a frequent visit schedule, especially at the start of their transition. Give them security by being there weekly at a set time. Spending time with them will remind them they are loved. Each person’s move to assisted living will be unique. With family and friends’ help, moving might be easier.